Ow. This really hurts.

I thought to myself 10 days before the Green Mountain Stage Race. I was in the middle of my first individual test since June, a time trial simulation of GMSR Stage 1.

I’ve been scared to do intensity since my crash. Not because of going fast. Not because of the risk of crashing. Not because of the pain either. So what is it then?? Because the crash hurt my confidence. Not in the corners (the crash was on a straightaway anyway…) but in my fitness. I took two weeks off the bike – the post-crash, depression-fighting, any-distraction-will-do phase – and couldn’t really exercise. When my knee was finally healthy (enough), I jumped back into training with no clue where my fitness was at. I raced the Project Echelon Omnium after two whole days back on the bike, and was just happy I didn’t get dropped. In fact, I tried to go on the attack a couple of times. But the legs that I once had were long gone, and my attacks were mere sputters of power rather than the knock-out punches that I’ve landed a couple of times this year.

***

I’ve been getting stronger and stronger every year on the bike, almost with every race it seems. So to be knocked down a few pegs – and not at the same time as everyone else, i.e. January – was hard. I lost more confidence than I did fitness, but I am happy to be back on the bike and putting in some big miles in the seven days.

Last weekend I went motor-pacing with my dad, and although I felt like sh*t at the beginning, my legs (and my head) came around in the final hour, and that made it all worth it.

A few days later, after a big week-long training block of nearly 500 miles, I went out to do TT simulation #1. I had a power target in mind, a few Watts lower than what I did in the time trial in 2018. But I’m coming off a huge week of training, illness and injury, and haven’t been riding at 100% for over a month. But I pushed through the pain, and ended up doing a decent effort. I wasn’t all there mentally, but I put in the work, and I’m confident I’ll be better next time. Now it’s time for a well-earned rest day, and then some final preparation before heading to Vermont next week.

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All of my rides here on Strava

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