Photo: JP Ninmer

It’s long. Very long. Over 1000 miles in fact. It’s curvy in some places, straight in others. Most of it is wide open. Some is covered by green thickets – this happens as you get closer.

I’m talking about the drive, of course, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Warren, Vermont, home base for the Green Mountain Stage Race. At the end of August, I’ll be making the trek to one of my favorite races of the year. I have fond memories of this race – it was the first time I ever finished in the Top 10 at a big stage race. It was 2016 and the field included riders from Rally, Caja Rural, and Cannondale-Garmin (now EF Education First). I time-trialed well and stayed with some of the best on App Gap, the brutally steep finishing climb on Stage 3. But it was my ride into the breakaway on Stage 2 that bolted me into the Top 10 that year. Overall, it was an amazing experience.

In 2017 I tried my best, but didn’t come away with a top result, much in part to an injury-plagued season filled with crashes, broken bones, and multiple surgeries. I wasn’t in top shape, to say the least.

In 2018 I came in to Green Mountain (GMSR) with the goal of winning. It had been my best season to date, and I was confident that my form could carry me to a Top 10, maybe the Top 5, and perhaps even a podium. With a little bit of luck, I might actually win this race… But dreams don’t always come true, and although I (and CS Velo who I was guest-riding for) gave it everything I had, I came up short. Another Top 10 Overall, but that’s not what dreams are made of.

***

The road to GMSR looked to clear just a few weeks ago. I’ve had the best season of my career so far in 2019, and was hoping to finish the season on a high note. After a short post-Nationals break, my teammates and I were back to racing at the Intelligentsia Cup. We went on to win the Overall with Brandon “Monk” Feehery, and finished the race with as many podium finishes as there were race days. I even snuck onto the podium too, finishing 2nd in the Elgin Road Race on Day 3. But later that week in Niles, I went down in a nasty crash caused my a clueless idiot. But that’s a story for another day.

All told, the crash sent at least 6 riders to the hospital, me included. I might have been the best off, as the other riders suffered broken bones, torn muscles, or dislocated joints. I smashed my helmet but have had no concussion symptoms (*thank you Specialized. I am very lucky) and suffered road rash on my face, hands, elbows, shoulder, hip, knee, and ankle. But the worst of it was a nasty gash in my knee, about 2 inches across and multiple-layers-of-skin deep on the inside my kneecap. It was my right knee, of course, the same knee that I’ve already had three surgeries on…

10 days later, I tried to ride. Key word: “tried”. It was so painful, and I was so worried and anxious about injuring myself further, that my arms shook and I fought back tears. It didn’t hurt that bad, but it was the emotional stress that cut deep.

I thought back to the three other surgeries I’ve had. Crutching to the Marian gym and sitting on a spin bike. Clipping my foot into the pedal, and turning the gear over as slowly and carefully as possible. Zero Watts. Two revolutions per minute. On a good day.

My knee cried out in pain as it approached the top of the stroke as my muscles tightened and I tore through the internal scar tissue. But it was all necessary. If I didn’t push myself then, I would never get back, I thought to myself.

***

In truth, my injuries aren’t that bad. If the doctors told me the truth (which they might have in the emergency room, but it was 3AM, I was exhausted, hungry, and extremely dehydrated, so I might have forgot), they would have told me I would be off the bike for 10-14 days.

Well, 13 days after my crash, I am easing back into riding. The road to GMSR will be a lot tougher this time. I’ve never taken 11 days off the bike four weeks before a major stage race (because why would anyone ever do that??), but it is what it is, and who knows, maybe I’ll be on the form of my life.

Or I’ll get dropped on the first hill.

You never know.

***

For the next four weeks, I’ll be posting updates on my recovery/training. Every day will be a challenge, filled with tests of self-discipline, thoughts of anxiety and doubt, and plenty of pain and suffering. But I’m a cyclist. That’s what I signed up for.

#roadtoGMSR

Follow my training rides here on Strava

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